


Cthulhu - Wall Emergency

by qxzenith



Series: Refics and Wall Emergencies - The Wall Will Fall [12]
Category: Cthulhu Mythos - H. P. Lovecraft, Joni Mitchell - Fandom, The Wall Will Fall
Genre: Carey by Joni Mitchell, Fourth Wall, Gen, Haiku, Limerick, Poetry, Song - Freeform, TWWF, The Wall Will Fall - Freeform, Villanelle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23905327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qxzenith/pseuds/qxzenith
Summary: In the fall and winter of 2012, the TVTropes team behind Echo Chamber ran an incredible ARG (Alternate Reality Game) called The Wall Will Fall. The premise of the game was that the Fourth Wall between fiction and reality was fracturing, and needed to be repaired as fictional characters fell through into our world. Part of the game mechanic was the writing of fanfiction, involving specific characters, settings, and tropes, to return the characters in question to fiction.This series consists of the pieces I wrote for these events, although only three of my attempts were chosen as canon in the game.This set of pieces was written for the climax of the game. Our criteria was to write a showdown between all five of our player-created Guardians of the Fourth Wall and Cthulhu, and have our Guardians win, but not without casualties. We were also told, unlike in other situations, that sheer quantity of submissions would increase our overall odds of success - so I wrote several variations on the theme. None of my attempts were chosen as canon, so this is their first time seeing the light of day.
Series: Refics and Wall Emergencies - The Wall Will Fall [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1721554





	1. Narrative fiction

**Author's Note:**

> In the fall and winter of 2012, the TVTropes team behind Echo Chamber ran an incredible ARG (Alternate Reality Game) called The Wall Will Fall. The premise of the game was that the Fourth Wall between fiction and reality was fracturing, and needed to be repaired as fictional characters fell through into our world. Part of the game mechanic was the writing of fanfiction, involving specific characters, settings, and tropes, to return the characters in question to fiction.
> 
> This series consists of the pieces I wrote for these events, although only three of my attempts were chosen as canon in the game.
> 
> This set of pieces was written for the climax of the game. Our criteria was to write a showdown between all five of our player-created Guardians of the Fourth Wall and Cthulhu, and have our Guardians win, but not without casualties. We were also told, unlike in other situations, that sheer quantity of submissions would increase our overall odds of success - so I wrote several variations on the theme. None of my attempts were chosen as canon, so this is their first time seeing the light of day.

"All right, team, here's the plan.

"Gnarbrydh and Regulator, take flank. Gnarbrydh, make sure to watch the Regulator's back. So long as he's still standing, he can Reset us if things go too far awry. Regulator-- you know what you have to do. Keep your distance unless there's no other option.

"Psi and Angel-- you two come from the front. Psi, make sure you're far enough away that you can write your attacks unhindered. Angel, try to keep an eye on Subject Psi, but your priority is, of course, the Abomination." Gurt smiled bravely. "As for me, well, I'll try to be everywhere.

"Aaaaand-- NOW."

As the Eldritch Abomination's attention snapped back to the five of them from where it had been occupied at the Crack, the Guardians assumed their positions.

Gnarbrydh charged directly at Cthulhu, as the Regulator hung back, constantly teleporting back out of Cthulhu's range whenever a tentacle reached for him. At the front, Angel likewise began to attack, though somewhat more circumspectly to avoid being stopped immediately by the Thing which was, after all, staring right at her. Gurt shouldered his machine gun and began firing round after round at Cthulhu, who didn't seem to even notice the bullets hitting it. Meanwhile, Subject Psi pulled out his best pen and a pad of paper.

Subject Psi stared furiously at the pad. The words were there, plain as day. But there was no effect. _He's too powerful..._

Dropping the pad and pen without a second thought, Psi ran over to the Wall itself, pulling out from his kit his best iron stylus. If good old pen-and-paper wasn't good enough for Cthulhu, surely there would be power behind  _this_ ! Gritting his teeth with determination, he began to carve his attacks onto the Fourth Wall itself.

Now he was having an effect; he continued to write as his words began to lacerate the flesh (did he have flesh? whatever it was, anyway) of the Abomination. He was so wrapped up in his work that he didn't notice anything was wrong until he heard Angel's shriek of horror right near his ear. "Psi! He's got Gurt! He's got Gurt!" She sounded close to tears.

Subject Psi whirled around and looked up... then further up... then further up... until finally he saw confirmation of her words. High above them, Cthulhu clutched the lime in a tentacle,  _squeezing_ him. Gurt stoically continued to fire at the monster who held him, even as his lifejuice dripped slowly to the floor. From behind, Gnarbrydh roared with anger, trying to deflect Cthulhu's attention with increased viciousness of his own attacks.

Angel seemed to have the same idea; she ran at the monster blindly, hacking and slashing with little effect.

Psi assessed the situation in moments. Gurt was in danger; Gurt was more vital to their mission than he was. Angel, worn out from her extended battle with the Eldritch Abomination, was no match for it at the moment; she would only hurt herself. No time for subtlety. Without needing any thought to the action, he sharpened his stylus with a sharpening stone from his kit as he ran at the creature. "Angel, get away!" he yelled as he approached. "You're too vulnerable; fall back. I'll take this!"

From far above, Gurt called out, in a voice that was clearly strained from the pain he was in, "Listen to him, Angel. I don't want to lose you right now."

Subject Psi climbed up Cthulhu's... body?... as Angel reluctantly obeyed his command, carving his attacks into its skin, making each incision real with the words it was composed of, convincing the Thing on a level deeper than mind to replace his leader with him. His revulsion with the material he climbed was mounting, when his ploy finally worked; Gurt was lowered to the ground by the half-mesmerized Abomination as it picked him up instead.

His hand holding the stylus scrabbled in midair for something to write on as his lungs fought the stifling grip of the tentacle that held him. Small comfort was the knowledge that Gnarbrydh was attacking down below to buy him some time, that the Regulator was waiting in the wings to Reset them all if he screwed this up badly enough. He needed to write something,  _do_ something, and fast, but the words were drying up and he had nowhere left to write.

Suddenly, Omega's long-forgotten words carried themselves, as though placed there by some divine grace, to his memory.  _"Just take it off every once in a while."_ He had never taken his mask off mid-battle before; he wondered what might happen if he did.

_The mask stored power. It was amplifying his own attacks, and absorbing who-knew how much of Cthulhu's attacks directed at_ him _. To take it off-- would change that delicate balance._

There was no way of knowing what would happen, he knew, until he tried it. It could go very badly for him if his best guess was wrong, but he had nothing left to lose at this point. And he needed any extra advantage that even an unknown quantity could afford him.

Letting the stylus fall limply from his hand, Psi wrenched his mask off in one fluid movement, just as another blast of mindcrushing power came at him from the monster, part of it hitting him full in his now-exposed face. The result of his unmasking was instantaneous; all the power that the mask had been storing up was thrust at Cthulhu, in much the same way that a tug-of-war player would stumble backward if his opponent suddenly released the rope, only magnified thousandsfold.

It would be impossible to say for sure whether the impact caused the Abomination to implode, or merely blasted it back to the depths of its story; but all that remained of it was a mass of sludgy slime on the surface where a moment before it had stood, while Psi still tumbled, lifeless, to the ground, the mask held stiffly aloft in his still-outstretched hand, his face bleeding from every orifice.

The Regulator dashed across a surface still sticky with lime juice where Gurt had bled to reach Psi's side, too panicked to even remember to teleport, but Gnarbrydh got there first, blocking his view.

_**YOU DO NOT WANT TO SEE THIS.** _

"I  _ have _ seen it," he told Gnarbrydh, ashen-faced. "I've seen every possible outcome of this fight. I've seen the worst, Gnar."

_**THEN YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS YOU DO NOT WISH TO SEE,** _ Gnarbrydh replied steadily, not backing down.

Angel turned away from them, her blonde hair dirty and matted, her left arm setting off sparks. She had been closer than either of them to Psi when he fell; there was no way that she had not seen. She looked like she would be crying, if only she had tear ducts.

With a sigh, the Regulator went over to where Gurt stood, gazing at the Wall. "I'm gonna ask A to keep this in when he fixes the Wall," the lime commented as he heard his subordinate's approach. "It's the least we can do. His heroism will live on that way."

"He doesn't have to--" The Regulator fingered his Reset Button.

Gurt shook his head. "Don't. How many times did you use that thing already today?"

"I lost count," the Regulator admitted. "I was up in nine digits or so before I stopped keeping track, though."

The boss nodded at his words. "I figured as much. Psi gave us the chance to turn Cthulhu back. We can't risk resetting now; this may have been our only chance. The price was too high; the price is always too high. But thank heavens that it wasn't higher."

The Regulator swallowed hard, drinking in his leader's words. "A-- about Angel. I think she needs some new parts..."

The lime was shaking his head again. "I've seen machines in her condition before, Reg. It's not gonna help."

"What do you mean? We can  _ fix  _ her!"

"No. We can't. Not this time. She took too much on herself; her equipment's just about shot. There's nothing we can do for her short of just about rebuilding her from scratch, and no one here has the resources to do that. The only one who  _ did _ was her father, and he's long dead."

"So we're just going to-- what? Let her  _ die? _ "

Gurt closed his eyes, as though seeking patience. "Yes. Because  _ we have no other choice _ . She has about a week, give or take a couple days, of uptime, before she runs down completely."

"And Gnarbrydh," the Regulator asked in a dead voice, "does he know? Are you planning to tell him?"

"Do you really think it would be a kindness to tell him this?" Gurt asked.

"Then why did you tell  _ me? _ " the Regulator cried.

"Because you already knew. Deep down, you needed to be told. But you had seen this. You knew what happened when you Reset us to this world. And it is still our best and brightest chance."

Wordlessly, the Regulator turned away and brought himself to where Gnarbrydh and Angel now sat in contemplative silence. Tentatively, he sat down on Angel's other side.

She looked up at him, her soulful face full of compassion. "I know you were really close with Psi, Reg. I'm so sorry," she said.

The Regulator exchanged one pained look with Gnarbrydh over her head that told him everything he needed to know. Slowly, gently, careful not to disturb her exposed wiring, he put an arm around Angel's shoulders. "Don't be," he whispered.

And from a distance, the Lime-Man watched three of his four closest friends, comforting each other with their presence, as he distractedly traced the immortal words of the fourth with his finger. And, because no one was watching, he allowed himself to shed a tear.


	2. Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to the tune of "Carey" by Joni Mitchell

SUBJECT PSI: The wind is in from R'lyeh

Last night, I couldn't sleep

Oh, you know it sure is hard to cross the Wall

And it's really not your home

Maybe it's been too long a time

Since you've devoured human souls

Now they got you used to your crazy worshippers and your fellow Elder Gods...

GURT: Oh, Cthulhu, get out of here,

And get back to your story

Oh, you're an Eldritch Abomination, but I'll take you.

ANGEL: We're going on down to the Bright White Void

Where I will fight you with all I've got

And you will hit and block for nothing

And toss my beaten carcass down...

Let's have another round now, you freak; I'm a soldier

Another round for these friends of mine

I'll have another round with the bright red devil

To keep you from destroying worlds...

GURT: Come on, Cthulhu, get out of here,

And get back to your story

Oh, you're an Eldritch Abomination, but I'll take you.

I'll take you, I'll take you, I'll take you on.

THE REGULATOR: Maybe you'd go to Amsterdam

Or maybe you'd go to Rome

And wreak a path of carnage

Striking madness through the town,

But let's not talk hypotheticals now

I've got the story on my side,

And you're starting to have to duck and roll

From the onslaught of my strikes...

GURT: Come on, Cthulhu, get out of here,

And get back to your story

Oh, you're an Eldritch Abomination, but I'll take you.

GNARBRYDH: The wind is in from R'lyeh,

Last night, I couldn't sleep

Oh, you know it sure is hard to cross here, Cthulhu,

But it's really not your home

Your tentacles are filthy

There's something oozing from your wings

Now, don't you miss those crazy worshippers and your fellow Elder Gods?

GURT: Oh, Cthulhu, get out of here,

And get back to your Lovecraft story

You're gonna leave the Bright White Void;

Get out tonight.

I said: Oh, you're an Eldritch Abomination, now get out of sight.


	3. Villanelle

Five Guardians guarding the Wall

Against any comers who try to cross through

With them there, the Wall will not fall.

Gnarbrydh is ready to brawl

And Angel stands waiting to battle Cthulhu:

Five Guardians guarding the Wall.

The monster, with its eldritch Call

Is slowed by Psi's words as he writes them on cue

With them there, the Wall will not fall.

The Elder God's tentacles maul

And tear at the Lancer of this stoic crew:

Four Guardians guarding the Wall.

Then Gurt said, in his lime-ish drawl:

"I'm sending you back if it's the last thing I do!"

Three Guardians guarding the Wall:

With them there, the Wall will not fall.


	4. Limerick

There once was a cracking Fourth Wall

Through which Cthulhu wanted to crawl

He killed Psi and Gurt

Before getting so hurt

That he left, and the Wall didn't fall.


	5. Chapter 5

Five Guardians stand

Cthulhu fights them and some die

But the Wall won't fall.


	6. One-word story

Cthulwho?


End file.
